I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
