I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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