Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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