i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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