Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
