fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
