38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
