Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
