Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
