I'm lost and stupid without you.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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