very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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