i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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