I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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