I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
They took my balls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
