and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Apparently you make a good broom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize