she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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