i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
