I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My balls are so social today.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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