To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
