You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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