I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
