He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
