i barfeds in our rink
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
