I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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