I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
