my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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