Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize