my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
