omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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