I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The adults are the big ones right?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
