I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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