you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize