Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
