I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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