Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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