yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
