There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
