About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize