no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
