R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
