I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
