We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
