come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
