Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love