fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?