I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going