I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...