I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.