I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.