The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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