I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize