"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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