I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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