i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
