So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
