no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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