Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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