used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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