last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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