Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize