Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
