you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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