I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize